I was musing whether I should post something for the Lesbian Visibility Day on April 26th. After all, being part of the European Lesbian* Conference means a lot to me. I've never felt so much empowered and being part of an event that takes inclusivity to a next level.
And then ... there is still a lot of these internalized doubts. I fully stand behind EL*C and its inclusive agenda. I know that the L is accompanied by an asterisk for a reason. Among others, to make it clear that Bisexual peeps aren't left out. And that trans people are also included. And here I sit, thinking nevertheless, am I allowed to see myself in that spot? Am I enough to take up space in there?
And here I am again with my internalized transphobia. Speaking up, making yourself heard is hard enough for trans feminine people. Especially when you click for everyone and people's first instinct is to address you with he/him pronouns.
Because those are traits are often enough seen as male - and when you don't identify as such you start to try everything to avoid being put into that box. Which results in a self-silencing. Including on such important dates where visibility is what it's about.
So here I am ... Trying to fight these feelings. And as much as I see it needed to be visible in the bisexual community, I also see it very much needed to be visible in the lesbian* community, because I feel connected to both. A lot.